In the first place and during the whole process, however challenging it may or may not become, it’s important to remember you’ve been selected to be the BEST man. That’s a genuine compliment of the highest order and with that comes a proper grown up responsibility. Some poor guy is about to hang up his trousers, surrender to the fun police, take the plunge into discipline not known since school and he’s picked you to help him prepare. Do you start to get an idea of the faith he’s got in you. The least you can do is send him out in style with a very successful stag do and a decent speech. There are a few little extras in terms of bestman etiquette but for now let’s concentrate on a trio of pointers for preparing the stag do.
These three round-one twenty first century pointers will help you get preparations in shape …
Like Queen Aretha suggested, it means a lot. Respect what the groom has to say on the subject; after all it’s about him first. Seem obvious? You’d be surprised. He may leave it entirely to you to plan a worthy send off or more likely he’ll give you a steer on what he would like. If he gives you carte blanche be mature about it and garner some opinion from his other ‘besties’ before jumping in. Dare we say it you might even court the bride-to-be’s opinion on what the groom might like, of course it’s tradition and expected to be completely ignored but she will feel like she’s had a hand in events and that will do you no harm at all. In most cases the groom will have an idea which makes your job easier, he might even know exactly, but if he’s unsure it’s a great opportunity to plan a few jars in the boozer to discuss one of manhood’s most pressing subjects … stag do ideas.
Whatever your opinion may be on Dave from accounts or stinky Pete from school or even the new brother-in-law, put them to one side. Your job as the bestman is to be exactly that and it means accommodating the groom’s preferences … enthusiastically. Make a concerted effort to invite everybody to the stag do and encourage their attendance, you’re the better man for it.
The last in the trilogy of stage 1 stag do prep is to be sensitive to the group and economics. The average group size across the year at StagWeb is 12-14, allowing for those that can’t make it and drop outs means your invite list could get up to a couple of dozen or more. Of course actual group sizes can be much lower or higher but using a dozen as an example means you need to consider the relative financial positions of multiple attendees, there’s a good chance some of the boys will be flush while others may be less so. If you want a range of people to come then price it right for the group as a whole. This next point is absolutely key … pricing right doesn’t mean cheap … it means getting great value at the right price. It can still be low cost; it just needs to represent great value and spending the stag investment wisely. Refer to the intro, the stag weekend needs to be successful (and memorable) so don’t risk it, as a rule, less always means less. A well considered “finance versus content” balancing act is required and that’s why talking to an expert like StagWeb with plenty of experience is a great idea.
These are just three points worth taking on board, there’s more to it of course but this is a sound approach to get you started. Since 2002 we’ve been leading the way in quality stag dos and we’re here to help! Please drop us a line, helping you prepare a really successful stag do is what we’re here for.
Blog written by Simon Denning, founder of StagWeb Limited.