They’re as British as Winston Churchill, bulldogs and moaning about the weather, they’re the cultural epicentre for millions of people. It’s where we find partners, celebrate weddings, wet babies’ head or raise a glass to dearly departed loved ones. Where we go to cry over spilt beer, cheer on charity events or tuck into roast beef & spuds.
As usual StagWeb put our own comfort to one side, pulled up a bar stool, picked up a pint and asked the questions that matter.
What’s your favourite type of watering hole?
Country pub – 60.3%
Traditional city boozer – 16.7%
Gastro pub – 11.8%
Trendy bar – 6.6%
Sports bar – 4.6%
Who would you rather go to the pub with?
Mates – 42.4%
Girlfriend/wife/partner – 37.5%
Family – 20.1%
Who would be your ideal landlady/landlord?
Johnny Vegas – 18.3%
Prince Harry – 14.6%
Al Murray – 14.6%
Ray Winston – 12.3%
Helen Mirren – 12.3%
Jeremy Clarkson – 11.3%
Barbara Windsor – 9.3%
Other – 7.2%
“The better the pub, the worst the wife the worse the wife, the better the pub.” – Heinrich Mann
Who would be your perfect barmaid/barman?
Stephen Fry – 22.8%
Holly Willoughby – 20.8%
Danny Dyer – 17.1%
Rachel Riley – 10.7%
Michelle Keagan – 8.6%
Margot Robbie – 8.2%
Dynamo – 6.2%
Other – 5.6%
What’s the one thing you’d most like to see in your favourite pub?
• Pool table
• Jukebox
• Open fire
• Quiz night
Other ideas on drinkers wish lists were;
• 24 hour happy hours
• Dancing girls
• Beer festival
• Excellent sausages
What’s most likely to get you heading down your local?
Quiz night – 37.7%
Live band – 29.8%
Big screen sport – 15.2%
Karaoke – 6.2%
Charity night – 4.3%
Other – 6.8%
“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” – Benjamin Franklin
What’s your favourite pub snack?
The humble crisp – 31.4%
Nuts – 31.4%
Chips – 19.6%
Anything covered in chili, the hotter the better – 10%
As long as it comes with bacon on I’m happy – 7.6%
What’s your beverage of choice?
A pint – beer/cider/ale/lager/stout – 49.4%
Spirit – 26.1%
Wine – 18.2%
Soft drink/juice – 6.3%
Would you like to see more locally produced beers, spirits, crisps/snacks?
Yes, I’d love to see more local flavour – 88.5%
No, I prefer the national/global brands – 11.5%
Pub grub, what’s your favourite pub dish?
Sunday roast – 29.6%
Burger – 29%
Steak – 19.5%
Curry – 6.8%
Bangers & mash – 6.2%
Toad in the hole – 3.1%
Other – 5.8%
“Theme nights? Theme nights? The only theme a pub needs is BEER!” – Al Murray, Pub Landlord
What’s your favourite pub game?
Pool – 45.7%
Quiz/fruit machine – 24.1%
Darts – 21.1%
Other – 3.5%
Table tennis – 3.3%
Beer pong – 2.3%
Who would be your ideal drinking partner?
The top four choices for drinking partner (apart from partner/wife/girlfriend) were
• Stephen Fry
• Johnny Vegas
• Al Murray
• Oliver Reed
Other more unusual drinking partners people wished for included;
• A deeply attractive woman with a tremendous personality. Like Gail Platt from Coronation Street.
• Oscar Wilde
• Jack Daniels
• Homer Simpson
• Someone who’s had a pint ahead of me, to let me know what quittin’ time’ll look like with one beer’s notice.
“I don’t want to get technical but according to chemistry alcohol is a solution.”
Suggested Pub Names
– The Jiggered Geologist
– The Bees Knees
– The Lock Inn
– Welcome Inn
– Nobodys Inn
– Lettem Inn
– Izzit Inn
– The Great Escape
– Professor Cornucopia’s Good Time Emporium
– The Tap
– The Cat in the Hat
– The Mutts Nuts
What’s more important?
Cheap prices – 43%
Beer garden – 41.4%
Big screen sports – 9.3%
Feeling fashionable – 6.2%
Would you like separate male only/female only bars in your pub?
Yes! Bring back the good old days! – 7.2%
No, it’s not the dark ages – 92.8%
I said to my girlfriend, “Guess what I heard in the pub? They reckon the postman has made love to every woman in this road except one.”
And she said, “I’ll bet it’s that stuck-up cow Tanya at number 23.”
1,355 people from across the UK were questioned in the survey.
