Lazy Blokes Guide to Breaking a World Record


Ever dreamed of being a world record breaker? The glory of becoming the fastest, strongest, longest… World Records have become so important they’re only official if an Irish beer company says so. But breaking a record does take some effort. And who can be bothered with training for months just to get a certificate?

So what if there was a record you could break without all the effort? Well fear not lazy bloke, here’s a few records that even you can manage and you won’t even have to get off your sofa for some of them.

15 Easy World Records You Can Break

Longest Movie Marathon
Sitting in front of the TV watching your favourite movies? Well order me some popcorn and pass me my colostomy bag, I think I’ve got this covered…
Current record – 121hrs 18 minutes – Suresh Joachim

Most Snails on Face
All you need is a face, some snails and a spare 10 seconds (that’s how long the snails must stay on your face).
Current record – 43 – Fin Keleher

Fastest Time to Duct Tape a Person to the Wall
You have an equal amount of duct tape and stupid friends. Now is the perfect time to bring them together in perfect harmony. You could also attempt a new longest time you’ve left your best mate taped to a wall world record (it’s what he would’ve wanted).
Current record – 26.59 seconds – Ashrita Furman

Most M&Ms Eaten in One Minute While Blindfolded Using Chopsticks
If you can already use chopsticks then this is another one that requires little in the way of training but you do get to do a lot of eating (unless you’re really crap with chopsticks in which case skip this and head on to the next one).
Current record – 20 – Ashrita Furman

Most Apples Crushed With Biceps in One Minute
Once you get past the “But why?” you realise this is actually pretty achievable. You have arms, you can get apples, lets do this!
Current record – 14 – Drew Mitchell

Longest Distance Moonwalked in One Hour
Ok, maybe a bit of training needed for this one. Learning to Moonwalk will be required but you can already walk forwards so how hard can it be?
Current record – 3.54 miles – Krunoslav Budiselic

Fastest Time to Place 24 Cans in Fridge
That Saturday job down the corner shop is finally going to pay off! You used to go for the fastest time anyway, now you’re simply making it official.
Current record – 5.78 seconds – Silvio Sabba

Fastest Time to Assemble Mr. Potato Head While Blindfolded
Quite literally child’s play!
Current record – 6.62 seconds – Samet Durmaz

Most Jelly Eaten with Chopsticks in One Minute
The current record holder has beaten the record three times. Either he has too much time on his hands or doesn’t understand the true art of laziness.
Current record – 679g (1b 7.95oz) – Ashrita Furman

World’s Longest Hug
You don’t even need to move for this one, just assume the position and then you can have a 24 hour and 45 minute power nap.
Current record – 24hrs 44mins – Sanderson Jones & Mikey Lear

Most Leapfrog Jumps in One Minute by a Team of Two
You used to do this during play time when you were a kid. But now you could be leaping and frogging your way into the record books.
Current record – 57 – Michael Kremmel and Andrew MacLaren and by Brett Hileman and Nickolaus Bonner

Longest TV Watching Marathon
Hey you’ve been practising for this your whole life, in fact the only thing that could stand in your way is if Piers Morgan comes on.
Current record – 94 hours – Alejandro “AJ” Fragoso

Fastest 100m on a Space Hopper
If you really want to push yourself how about a crack at an actual “fastest” world record? It’s only 100 metres though so can’t be too bad. How much training does Usain do? Exactly!
Current record – 30.2 seconds – Ashrita Furman

Most Jelly Moved in 30 Seconds
There is a regulation of both the spoon and how far apart the two receptacles must be. Some people have too much time on their hands. But not you, a true lazy bloke never needs to fill hours.
Current record – 250g – Rhik Samadder

Farthest Water Balloon Throw
You’ll need a partner for this one as the balloon must be filled, caught and thrown by two people. It could get messy.
Current record – 38.82 metres – Bipin Larkin and Ashrita Furman


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