Awesome, Destinations, Stag weekends

48 Hours to Party in Amsterdam

09/04/2019
48 hours in Amsterdam

48:00:00

And so it begins…

“Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking, we will now begin our descent into Schiphol Airport. The forecast in Amsterdam is booze, banter and big laughs, and when we land it will be beer o’clock, so adjust your watches accordingly. I hope you packed your dancing clogs fellas, because the Amsterdam stag do starts now!”

46:56:23

Airport-hotel-town! Bish-bash-bosh…!

Baggage? “Done!” Customs? “Done!” Airport? “Completed it, mate!” Oh yes, here we go then boys, the day has arrived when the groom/condemned man gets his final farewell before he trudges off into marital life. It’s night one, head to the hotel, ditch the bags, let’s hit the town!

Top Amsterdam Hotels

45:31:11

Bar no.1…

Dam Square, the main party hub. You’ve found a bouncing bar to kick off the action. You overhear Simon talking to the barman, “Een bier, alstufblieft!” How many’s he had?! Oh, hang on, I think he’s trying to speak Dutch. “Make that two, Simo!”

42:27:48

The Dam doesn’t know what’s hit it…

You make it into a club. Smart thinking booking up StagWeb’s Guest List Nightclubbing so you bypassed the queues, that line was looooooong. Right, this is the moment you’ve been waiting for, you’ve been practising for six months, time to pull out the robot. Peter Crouch has nothing on you…

Nightclub

34:12:29

The first morning/hangover…

You get out of bed and instantly hit the deck. Your hamstring went as soon as you started doing the robot last night. That was slightly embarrassing. Not as embarrassing as crying, though. Maybe no one will remember! You head back to Dam Square to one of the great cafes (one that serves food, not the other sort, not just yet anyway…).

32:24:14

Stagtivity no.1…

After getting slaughtered for your dancing fail over breakfast, it’s time for your first stagtivity. You and the guys start the weekend with a bang with a spot Target Shooting. This all action, man activity really separates the men from the boys. It’s a chance to see who the best marksman is. First round of beers on the loser…

Amsterdam activities

29:49:24

Lunchtime…

The groom’s wallet is at the ready to get the drinks in over lunch. You need some food to refuel for the rest of the day ahead. You punt for some bitterballen! “You what-when?” Bitterballen! The ultimate Dutch pub snack. Deep fried meatballs served up with some mustard. That’s some (Amster)damn fine grub!

28:33:15

Tour 1…

Now you’ve had a delicious golden pint you’d quite like another. Luckily your second stagtivity is un-beer-lievably good. When in the Dam you can’t not have a tour of the Heineken museum. The Heineken Experience is a must for any beer lover. A sort of adult version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory!

26:29:46

Tour 2…

Right then, you’ve done the beer tour, now it’s time for the other famous tour in Amsterdam: the Red Light District Tour. “No dear, we didn’t just sit in the pub all day, we went on some very interesting sightseeing tours!” This one is guaranteed laughs and it’s also important to do something cultured on your trip. “Did you see the size of those landmarks?!”

24:41:20

Food o’clock…

Trying to find somewhere to eat with a group this size is an absolute nightmare. Good job you sorted that Stag Dining out before you left. Reserved table, prepaid food, three-course slap-up meal, easy as you like. You’re ready and raring for the second night. “Get me to the boozer!”

22:01:43

Hefner, eat your heart out…

There are bar crawls and then there are bar crawls. This one is definitely the latter. Whoever arranged this Bunny Girl Bar Crawl has just elevated himself to top stag. A gorgeous babe leading you to three of the best bars in the city. “Can she come out with us every night?!”

Amsterdam nightlife

19:23:17

The robot 2.0…

After the bar crawl, you’ve found your confidence and you’re ready to dance again (you’ve strapped the hamstring up, it’ll be fine!). The shots are hitting harder than a Marco van Basten volley, the party’s popping off, Johnny’s flossing, Kevin’s doing the sprinkler, yep, that’s it, the robot’s making a comeback…

09:08:34

Morning/hangover no.2…

What are the chances your other hamstring would go?! And this time you cried even more. Dear me. Right, forget about it, move on, it’s your last day, you can’t waste time sulking. You bounce back to the café for breakfast then head to your latest activity.

07:34:50

Tour 3…

This one’s a biggie, the groom’s a huge footy fan so you and the boys have booked up a Johan Cruyff Arena Stadium Tour, home of four-time European Cup winners Ajax. This is a footballing Mecca, the birthplace of total football, of Van Basten, of Cruyff, of Bergkamp, of you… (if you were ten-years-younger, didn’t eat all those pies and could actually kick a ball!)

Amsterdam packages

06:02:11

(Don’t) “Say cheese!”…

You were going to have some cheese for lunch – this is the home of Edam, Gouda and Leyden after all, but it seemed so on-the-nose that you may as well have eaten it whilst walking over some tulips, in your clogs, on the way to your windmill. Instead, you have a nice bowl of snert – a thick pea soup [insert childish snot joke here].

05:04:43

Go Go Go Karting…

You’re feeling energised after a hefty dollop of snert, time for your final activity and, get ready fellas, it’s a stag classic. Go wheel to wheel as you battle it out in Europe’s largest indoor karting venues with the epic Go Karting package! High-octane stuff, this!

Go Karts

03:34:25

Done deal…

After wiping the floor with the rest of the stags and proving you can go shoulder to shoulder with Lewis Hamilton and the F1 elite, it’s time to race back to the hotel to pack those bags as, unfortunately, your time in this great city has come to a close.

00:00:00

Home time…

“Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking, we will now begin our descent into drizzly Britain. Please fasten your seatbelts and try not to cry at the disappointment of leaving Amsterdam. Be proud. You’ve gone hard and arranged a mega stag do.” Beers? “Done!” Banter? “Done!” Big Laughs? “Done!” Stag do?
“Completed it, mate!”

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