Valentines Day is right around the corner and if you and your other half have been together for more than two minutes, try not to be too surprised when she starts dropping hints about love and marriage, dropping down on one knee, tying the knot – whatever you want to call it, she’s on a one woman mission to get a sparkly band planted firmly on her finger. Gentlemen, this notion strikes fear into our hearts and because the male species are known for being more than a little oblivious, we’ve helpfully put together a list of easy to spot warning signs and symbols that she’s got her eyes on the prize for V Day. Whether you decide to give in and pop the question or to put if off for yet another year, this guide should help you deal with the mild insanity leading up to the most romantic day of the year…
1. Single Ladies is stuck on replay
When you stick your keys into the ignition and are hit by a wall of Beyoncé’s hit Single Ladies because your girlfriend has jammed it hard into the CD player and removed all your favourite albums, it’s time to accept that she wants you to put a ring on it. Soon.
2. Mum’s bought a new hat
When your mother in law treats herself a flowery, frothy number to rest on her noggin, you can bet that she’s not dropped £150 to wear it on the weekly shop.
3. Your brother is already best man
Waking up to a ‘congratulations’ text from your big brother is certainly reason to be concerned. She’s probably already asked him to be your best man – and even worse, he’s accepted.
4. There’s a ring in your pint
Everybody’s familiar with the classic trick of dropping a sparkly engagement ring into a fair lady’s glass in order to pop the question somewhat creatively. Now whenever you have a pint down the local, there’s a man-sized gold band floating about at the bottom…
5. You’ve been invited to your own wedding
Sorting through the usual bills and pizza delivery menus, you come across a pretty ivory envelope – which annoying friend of your girlfriend’s is getting married now? Oh, it’s you.
6. Your desktop background is sparkling with diamonds
She’s taken a picture of her own hand, photoshopped a ring onto the appropriate finger and set it as the desktop background on your laptop. Quite creepy but you’ve got to be at least slightly impressed by her nifty digital skills.
7. She’s been out on her hen weekend
Nope, that boozy night out last week involving novelty veils and weird willy straws wasn’t the classic last night of freedom for Kelly or Linda or her sister – it was hers. Gulp.
8. You’re staying in the honeymoon suite
She’s taken care of the holiday this year and it’s certainly not the usual soggy camping trip to Cornwall. You’re staying in the honeymoon suite in an exclusive resort in the Maldives and apparently her dad is paying? This is a trap, repeat, this is a trap.
9. She’s on the ‘wedding cake diet’
Unlike the cabbage soup diet, the Atkins or Slim Fast, your girl’s latest diet craze has nothing to do with her waistline – she’s begun to eat nothing but frosted fruit, moist sponge and classically iced wedding cake, calling it an ‘extended tasting session’ because she wants that big day and she wants it bad. Either that, or she just wants an excuse to eat a lot or cake. Or she’s pregnant.
10. She wears a wedding dress all the time
Jeans, leggings, jumpers and even pyjamas are all out because your girlfriend has taken to wearing a massive white wedding dress to work, in bed, to the gym and to her twice weekly banjo lessons. First, check that she isn’t in fact Miss Havisham and then maybe think about proposing.
Marriage is a pretty scary prospect but if you, sir, feel ready to drop down on one knee and finally propose to the love of your life, not only will you be in her good books for at least a week, you and your mates can start planning a stag do to end all stag dos! How about painting the streets of London red or travelling abroad to one of our most popular destinations like Amsterdam or Prague? Along with amazing activities and incredible nightlife, we’ve got the winning formula for your perfect stag. What are you waiting for?