Firstly, let’s touch on the very foundation of stag law; Thou Shalt Stitch Up the Groom. It is tradition, chaps, and failing to do so puts you in dereliction of your duty. As Admiral Nelson once declared, “England The stag party expects that every man stag shall do his duty groom.” Now we’re not talking chaining him naked to a lamppost or leaving him in a forest. Not only is that really dangerous and/or likely to see the groom get nicked, but it’s also so ‘90s. Stag stitch-ups have evolved and there are now Premier League pranks for guys that want to up the ante and give it a professional twist.
This is one of your best mates, he’s about to celebrate the biggest occasion of his life and is about to leave his bachelor days behind him. His stag do should be an epic and memorable occasion, anything less than “legendary” simply won’t do.
But don’t go charging in before it’s properly time to strike, premature e-stagulation can leave everyone feeling a bit robbed of a suitably explosive climax. You’ve got to know when to hold ‘em, when to fold ‘em and when to play your trump card.
Get all the lads to read and sign the Stag Do Contract so that you know you’re all singing from the same hymn sheet. It’s also a good way to give the guys a bit of a laugh before things kick-off.
Make sure you have plenty of stag games ready and raring to go. While it’s important to stitch up the groom, you want to make sure all the lads have plenty of fun at each other’s expense as well. You have a whole weekend to fill, and a group of competitive stags can get through plenty of games, so make sure you have a few up your sleeves.
You can’t go into any set of stag games without prizes (“What do pints make?”) or, more importantly, forfeits for the losers. There’s no need to carry around excessive props or gadgets, a simple set of dare cards or printed forfeits for the lads to pick from will help keep them all in line and provide more great stags laughs.
Show time! Having given all the lads plenty of laughs it’s time to put the man of the moment in his place and help him reflect on his current predicament (the forthcoming wedding) before it’s too late, by showing him the kind of fun he’ll be missing out on when he ties the knot.
- Stag Kidnap is always a great start to the weekend. Have his bride-to-be pack his weekend bag without his knowledge and then strike by bundling him into a car when he least expects it. Make sure it is done in a comedy style so that the groom doesn’t start swinging for fear of his life or casual passers-by start phoning the police. Balaclavas, comedy accents, something to bind his hands, and a fast car or van are the essential tools of the stag kidnapper’s trade.
- Bogus Bungee requires blindfolding the groom, putting him in a car and convincing him he’s about to do a bungee jump. Let him think he’s being taken to a bridge, tie something around his ankle and stand him in front of a paddling pool. Then, “3… 2… 1… Bungee… Bastards!”
- Groom Fancy Dress is a true stag tradition. You can keep it tame and dress him up as a pipe and slippers man, complete with dressing gown and pyjamas instead of his own clothes, or you can drag the stag by setting him up in a wedding dress and make-up. Alternatively, a baby romper suit is easy to find and covers his modesty without causing offence. The one thing to bear in mind is that whatever he’s wearing could sway the doormen of any pubs or clubs you’re trying to get into.
- Mr and Mrs is a classic game show, but it can also be a great way of putting the stag in the firing line. Ask the bride-to-be a series of questions prior to the stag do, make note of all her answers, throw in a few random wrong answers and then quiz the groom. If he scores enough points, you could allow him a phone call to his beloved. If he answers wrong, then he has to take a forfeit. Get your Mr and Mrs Questions.
To get some inspiration for stitching up the stag check this out!
Premier League Stag Pranks
- Fake Bride – A meticulously set up prank where the groom will be presented with a fake marriage certificate, a fake wedding ring and a fake bride! Plus a sexy strip show.
- Roly Poly Show – He won’t see this coming (although he might notice the sun getting blocked out), this, erm, “fuller figured” stripper will give the blushing groom a lap-dance to remember.
- Sexy Hitch-Hiker – Pick up a hitch-hiker from the side of the road only to find out it’s a stunning woman who’s ready to perform a sexy show for you…
- Sexy Maids – Room service has never looked so good. Check out the groom’s face as his hotel room maid suddenly starts to perform a sexy striptease.
- Stag Arrest – Have the stag ‘arrested’ by uniformed ‘rozzers’ and taken to what he thinks is a police station but is actually a strip club. The blindfold is taken off and the show begins!