best man duties - on the big day

As designated best man you have a lot on - so much, in fact, that you probably won't even have time to get nervous about your speech (as if …). Prior to the ceremony, it's traditional to pop round to the bride's to pick up buttonholes, telegrams, last-minute messages and any final instructions about seating arrangements and so on. Your wedding morning checklist will look something like this: 
• make sure the bride and groom have their honeymoon kit 
• luggage, tickets, passports, money, etc
• check any reservations
• pick up buttonholes for yourself and the ushers
• check final arrangements
• service sheets, hired cars etc
• the rings! the rings! 
Otherwise, your main pre-nuptial duty is simply to be there for the groom. Calm his nerves, make sure he eats something, do his ironing, purchase the immodium, fill his shaking glass - whatever he wants or needs.

during the wedding ceremony 
You will of course, as bestman, have arrived early with the groom, giving yourself plenty of time to check that service-sheets and buttonholes are on hand, the ushers are fully instructed and to check (and check again!) for the rings. With everything securely in hand, you make your way suavely to your place next to the groom in the right-hand pew. Whatever you are feeling, you do not look nervous: the groom has enough on his mind. On a signal pre-arranged at rehearsal, a few minutes before the bride's entrance and procession, you and the groom will stand to take your places at the front. (You are always to his right.) Follow the service attentively, for your next job is the biggest of all: to produce the wedding ring on cue for the groom. Towards the end of the service, you're likely to escort the chief bridesmaid to the signing of the register and, if necessary, act as a witness. In the concluding procession, your place is after the bridal attendants (bridesmaids, page boys etc), on the right of the chief bridesmaid - your opposite number. From now on, your role as master of ceremonies kicks in. You are on hand to help the photographer arranging wedding groups to be shot. You stand by to see the happy couple into their car and make sure - with the help of the ushers - that everyone has a lift to the reception. Traditionally, the best man makes his own way to the reception with the bridal attendants.

at the reception
If the reception begins with a formal receiving line, make sure you're standing - as ever - after the bridal attendants. Unless there's an official toastmaster, the Best Man generally turns continuity announcer, directing guests to the seats, introducing the speeches and announcing the cake cutting. Your bestman's speech, last in the traditional order, is usually prefaced by the reading of cards, telegrams and messages from guests unable to attend and also incorporates a reply on behalf of the bridesmaids.

check the motor
In time-honoured fashion, your duties regarding the nuptial getaway car are twofold - to check that the newlyweds' luggage is safely stowed and to decorate the vehicle in the usual lurid and unhelpful manner.

finally
By now you can start to enjoy yourself, though remember to remind the couple when it's time for them to get changed into their going-away clothes. (If the groom's outfit is hired, it's down to you to return it for him next day.) You'll also want to see that the car is brought to the door for the official departure, which you'll announce to all the guests so they can say their goodbyes.

useful best man info ...

• Best man's advice - a quick breakdown of what you need to know
• Best man's speech- introduction, this could help!
• Best man's speech 2 - top tips in a list
• Best man duties - what's expected of the best man

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