For us guys weddings can be a scary, especially if you haven't got a clue what you're doing.
Especially when someone tells you you're the best man and then leaves you to do all the hard work while he plans a tiny little wedding, "thanks mate!".
So here's a rundown of everything you need to know about your best man duties from best men experts who have walked the walk and speeched the speech.
Most Important Best Man Duties
- Help the groom with his planning (suits, cars, music, etc.)
- Write a hilarious best man speech that roasts the groom
- Plan an epic stag do
- Play at least one prank on the groom
- Help with any last-minute emergencies
- Get the groom to the ceremony
- Organise the groomsmen
- Keep the rings safe
- Deal with any questions from the caterers, photographer, DJ, swan wrangler, etc.
- Deliver your killer speech
- Receive your standing ovation from the crowd
- Help get the party started
- Collect up the wedding gifts and cards at the end of the evening
- Welcome the couple home after the honeymoon
"If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs...
...Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a (best) Man, my son!"
- Rudyard Kipling/Mike Bassett
Your best man duties are split into three key areas:
- The Stag Do
- The Wedding
- The Speech
Best Man Duties - The Stag Do
Plan an unforgettable stag do
Plan early. Don't leave it until the last minute - you'll end up paying more and getting less.
Avoid all the usual stress of organising it solo and get the experts at StagWeb to help who will take all the pressure off your shoulders and make sure it's truly memorable.
Play at least one prank on the groom
It's not a stag celebration unless you laugh at the groom's expense at least once.
We're not talking about tying the groom to a lamppost (this isn't the 1980s). But make sure you have one stag stitch up ready and waiting.
Check out our favourite stag pranks now for some inspo!
Best Man Expert
"Don't get too many people involved. Ask the stag what he wants to do, confirm the date and budget with group members before booking anything, and take into consideration how you plan to get there (flights, train, drive etc.)."
Steve Roddy - Director - StagWeb - Best Man Once
Check out our How it Works page to see how easy planning a stag do with StagWeb is!
Best Man Duties - The Wedding
Help the Groom with His Planning
Be on hand to help the groom with useful fact-finding and planning missions (this can be done down the local pub to help him to get away from wedding planning stress).
Help with Last-Minute Emergencies
Check in with the happy couple in the run-up to the big day, especially in the final week, to be on hand for any last-minute hitches.
Offer to fetch dresses, pick up relatives, capture and dye a ring bearing swan, etc. A good best man doesn't wait to be asked, he knows what's going on and is ready to jump in and help out.
Get the Groom to the Ceremony
You'll be responsible for getting the main man there on the day.
Check the oil, kick the tyres, make sure you're good to go and check for any last-minute roadworks to be avoided.
Organise the Groomsmen
Some of the groomsmen could be even more clueless than you are, so make sure they know their roles (seating guests according to 'bride' or 'groom', handing out order of service, giving directions from the ceremony to the reception). Also, keep an eye on any young groomsmen – appoint someone to look after them.
Keep the Rings Safe
Check, double-check, triple-check! Never let them out of your sight. Also, when it comes to presenting them, place the rings on the flat of your hand rather than leave them in the box (which is harder for the groom and bride's nervous hands to deal with).
Deal with Supplier Questions
The cake maker, photographer, venue manager, DJ, alpaca handler and everyone else is going to want to ask the bride and groom 'vital' questions, but it's their big day, they should be left to enjoy it, so it's your job to deal with any questions heading their way.
Gift and Suit Collection
At the end of the night the bride and groom will just want to head off to their bridal suite, not hang around and tidy up.
Collect all the gifts, cards, mementos for them and put them somewhere safe. If they're jetting off for the honeymoon quickly you might need to return the groom's hired suit.
Welcome Home
It's been the most momentous few weeks of their lives, so a welcoming committee is one final touch that will surprise and please them. Pick them up from the airport, take them home to their pile of wedding gifts. This will be your last best man duty – congratulate yourself on a job well done.
Best Man Expert
"It's great to stitch up the groom, but your role is to give him a great last weekend that he will enjoy too!"
Jamie Birleson - Stag Party Destination Specialist - StagWeb - Best Man Three Times
How to Write a Best Man Speech
Best Man Duties - The Speech
Write a Hilarious Speech
There are so many rules to writing a good speech, but, importantly don't make it too long and don't make it too rude. It will be a family audience, so if your speech has too much sexual innuendo, whip it out.
Deliver Your Killer Speech
Keep the Dutch courage to a minimum. Save the alcohol until after you've had the guests in hysterics at your brilliantly written speech.
Receive Your Standing Ovation from the Crowd
Take a bow. Go on, you've earned it.
Best Man Expert
"Don't find free jokes on the internet, everyone does that and all the guests will have heard them before. He's your best friend - he deserves better. Make sure you have some new, original comedy hand-grenades to lob at him."
Kye Harman - Speech Writer
So, there you have it, everything you need to do at the 'I do' do. Plan early, make sure you stay in regular contact with the groom, offer plenty of help and always stay calm.
There'll be enough people panicking about stuff, you need to be an oasis of reassurance in a sea of supplier failures and suit malfunctions.
If you look at each of your best man duties individually, it's actually a pretty simple job and you're going to be brilliant at it.
The Dos and Don'ts of Wedding Toast Etiquette
