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How to write an epic best man's speech

A complete guide to writing your wedding speech

Best man speechThe best man's speech is considered a high point of any wedding. All the groom's nearest and dearest will look at their blue eyed boy sat next to his beautiful new bride and lovingly yet expectantly wait for the best man to take his fine character and rip it up into teeny tiny comedy pieces so that all the assembled guests can have a bloody good laugh at the groom's expense.

Yes! The now overwhelming tradition of the best man speech comedy roast. In days gone by a best man would stand beside the main man and extol his virtues, bigging him up to the new in-laws. Modern best man work in reverse and basically do everything they can to drag his reputation through the mud, all in pursuit of a few cheap laughs.

Now we're not saying we agree with this but who are we to mess with tradition? So before we work on delivering the speech, with a little help from SimplytheBestMan let’s take a look at preparing the perfect best man’s speech.

The Basics

Speech basics

Order of Speakers - The best man is the third wedding speaker after the father of the bride and groom. While the two others will play for a few laughs it's the best man who is the headline and the one that will provide most of the laughs.

Duration - A good weeding speech lasts around 7 minutes. No matter how well you think you’re going to do never go on for 10 minutes, it’s a speech not stand-up comedy.

Formalities - The best man has a number of key points he has to take care of;

  • Thank you - The best man thanks the groom for his kind words and both the happy couple for the gifts they will have presented to members of the wedding party during the groom’s speech.
  • Roast - Everyone will be expecting you to talk about the groom and this really is your main role.
  • Postman - You’ll deliver any messages from those who couldn’t attend, this might be reading out emails, cards or even texts.
  • Toast - You’ll offer the last toast of the speeches, this comes at the very end of your speech. If you want to do it formally (and seeing as this is a wedding you really should) the correct way is to ask everyone to "...please stand and raise your glasses to Mr & Mrs XXXX".

Adoration - Having got your speech perfect and with the applause and cries of more still ringing in your ear you can now head off to the bar happy with a job well done and ready for all the free drinks that are about to come your way.

But before we get too carried away let’s look at how to write that speech.

How To Write A Best Man’s Speech...

How to write a best man's speechThere are a number of basic phases to the perfect best man's speech, stick with these and you can’t go far wrong.

Introduce Yourself - Not everyone will know your name or how you know the groom so start by introducing yourself and your relationship to the groom. “For those of you that don’t know me my name's XXX and I've known [groom] since…”

Formalities - Reply on behalf of the wedding party (bridesmaids, ushers, pageboys, etc) for the groom's thanks and gifts from the newlyweds.

The Bride - While you are principally there to talk about the groom DON'T FORGET THE BRIDE in your speech.

The Groom (Take aim… Fire!) - This will be the main part of your speech where you’ll make the groom regret having picked you in the first place by letting rip with some jokes and/or stories at his expense.

Advice to the Fallen - You can follow this up with some useful or useless (funny) advice for either the bride, groom or both for the years ahead.

Kind Words - Having let rip and stitched up Mr Wedded-Bliss in front of everyone its time to redress the balance with some heartfelt words about what a great friend and man he really is and give your own best wishes for their future together.

Announcements - There might be some announcements to make in regards to the reception (check with the couple, organisers and venue beforehand) this is also the part of your speech where you’ll read any messages from guests who couldn’t make it.

Toast - You’ll conclude your speech by asking everyone to drink a toast to the happy couple.

A Little Help From The Pros

Help from the pros

We've teamed up with professional wedding speech writers Simply the Best Man and have built a Wedding Speech Writer System . This is filled with every trick and tool you'll need to craft an epic best man speech.

You'll find thousands of jokes, quotes, icebreakers and killer gags to craft a great best man's speech which have been written by pros with years of experience writing and performing comedy for stage, radio and TV.

How it works…

The app is split into various sections of your speech, as you hit each phase you'll be given hundreds of options of funny lines or insightful quotes you can add to your speech. Once complete you can either save your speech in the system for you to come back and review or edit and then print out the final cut once you're satisfied.

For just £7.99 you'll get 28 days* access to the system which you can then visit as many times as you wish during this period so you can keep working on your speech until you're completely satisfied.

*These days run consecutively. For example if you sign in to the system on the 1st of the month your access will end on the 29th.

Speech writing app

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