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How to Write an Epic Best Man's Speech

Best man speech tips from the experts

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The best man's speech is considered a high point of any wedding. All the groom's nearest and dearest will look at their blue eyed boy and enjoy the moment as best man takes his fine character and rips it up into teeny tiny comedy pieces so everyone can have a bloody good laugh at his expense.

Now we're not saying we agree with this but who are we to mess with tradition?

"John's idea of 'sophistication' is picking something off the menu
that doesn't come with a free toy."

7 Phases of the Best Man Speech

  • Introduction - Introduce yourself, not all the guests will know who you are.
  • Formal Bit - Respond on behalf of the bridesmaids and groomsmen for any gifts.
  • The Bride - Yes you're here to roast the groom but don't forget to mention the bride.
  • The Groom - Fire! Give the groom both barrels in your comedy character assassination.
  • Kind Words - Kiss and make up with a few kind words and good wishes.
  • Announcements - Read any messages from guests/relatives who couldn't make it.
  • The Toast - End your speech with a toast to the new Mr & Mrs.

The Basics

Speech basics

Order of Speakers 

  • Father of the Bride
  • Groom
  • Best Man

The best man is the third wedding speaker after the father of the bride and groom. While the two others will have more serious things to say it's the best man who is the headline act and the guests will look to you to provide the laughs.

Duration - A good weeding speech lasts around 7 minutes. No matter much ammo you want to throw at the groom try not to make it too long.

Formalities - The best man has a number of key points he has to take care of;

  • Thank you's - The best man thanks the groom on behalf of the bridesmaids and ushers for any gifts presented to the wedding party during the groom's speech.
  • Postman - You'll deliver any messages from those who couldn’t attend, this might be reading out emails, cards or even texts. This should be done at the end of your speech, before the toast.

Adoration - Having got your best man speech perfect and with the applause and cries of more still ringing in your ears you can now head off to the bar happy with a job well done and ready for all the free drinks that are about to come your way.

But before we get too carried away let's look at how to write that speech...

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How To Write A Best Man’s Speech...

How to write a best man's speech

There are seven basic phases to the perfect best man's speech, stick with these and you can't go far wrong.

1) Introduce Yourself - Not everyone will know your name or how you know the groom so start by introducing yourself and your relationship to the groom. “For those of you that don't know me my name's XXX and I've known [groom] since...”

2) Formalities - Reply on behalf of the wedding party (bridesmaids, ushers, pageboys, etc) for the groom's toast and any gifts from the newlyweds.

3) The Bride - While you are principally there to talk about the groom don't forget to mention the bride during your speech.

4) The Groom (Take aim… Fire!) - This will probably form the main part of your speech where you'll make the groom regret having picked you in the first place by letting rip with some jokes and/or stories at his expense. If you're stuck for gags check out our speech writing app.

"Joseph Joubert once said - “Only choose in marriage a man whom you would choose as a friend if he were a woman.” And I don’t think it’s that far a stretch to imagine Pete as a woman. In fact I sometimes find it difficult to remember he’s actually a man."

5) Kind Words - Having let rip and stitched up Mr Wedded-Bliss in front of everyone it's time to redress the balance with some heartfelt words about what a great friend and man he really is and give your own best wishes for their future together.

6) Announcements - There might be some announcements to make in regards to the reception (check with the couple and wedding organisers beforehand). Also deliver any messages from guests who couldn’t make it.

7) Toast - You'll conclude your speech by asking everyone to drink a toast to the happy couple.

Once you've got it written you need to work on how to deliver your best man speech...

Speech writing app

Over 4,000 wedding speech icebreakers, jokes, quotes and more... Get it here.

Best Man Speech Do's and Don'ts

Help from the pros

Don't take on too much Dutch courage! Alcohol can make your mouth feel dryer and heighten any feeling of nerves.

Do practice your speech. The more you practice the better you’ll know it so you’ll be able to relax more on the day and won’t need to rely on just reading it directly off the page.

Don't be dull! You’re the top act of the big day, there’s nothing worse than hearing the best man tell the same old dull jokes everyone has heard before. Find something fresh to say and original jokes (you'll find hundreds of original jokes in our Speech App).

Do use cue cards. Holding a large piece of paper can be awkward, it can also shake if you’re nervous so write your speech onto smaller sheets of card, they’re both easier to hold and with your speech in smaller section it makes it easier to remember.

Don't swear. It will be a mixed crowd so keep it clean.

Do make eye contact. Rather than just reading off the paper making eye contact with your audience will make you appear more confident (even if you’re feeling nervous).

Don't leave it to the last minute. It's easier to see a guy who has put off writing his speech, plan ahead and get your speech written in plenty of time. You can then keep editing and tweaking it right up until the big day.

Do get help from the pros. If you're still worried about your speech then get a little help from the experts. See below...

A Little Help From The Pros

speech builder

We've teamed up with professional wedding speech writers Simply the Best Man to create a Wedding Speech Writer System to help you craft an epic best man speech.

Inside the system you'll find over 4,000 wedding jokes including plenty of comedy hand grenades to throw at the groom all broken down into sections with jokes about;

  • His school years
  • His job
  • His hobbies
  • His dancing
  • His driving
  • His dress sense
  • His obsession with his hair
  • Sports team
  • Failures with women
  • DIY skills
  • Funny words of advice
  • Fake school reports
  • Fake messages
  • and more…

How It Works

  • Once you log into the system you'll have your own personal speech template.
  • The system will then guide you through each phase of your speech with hundreds of speech jokes to choose from.
  • Simply click on the jokes you like, to add them to your speech template.
  • Once finished you can add dates, names and stories or anecdotes of your own.
  • You can then save the speech to work on at a later date or print it out straight away.
  • It really is that easy.
  • Using the system, the average speech takes less than 30 minutes.
Speech writing app

For just £9.99 you'll get 28 days* access to the system which you can then visit as many times as you wish during this period so you can keep working on your speech until you're completely satisfied.

*These days run consecutively. For example if you sign in to the system on the 1st of the month your access will end on the 29th.

Get it here

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